Im Tired

Soooo tired.
I cant wait to sleep.
Its a wonderful thought, sleep.
One day, I will be able to, but thats not my today.
My today is my children.
The loves of my lives.
Cuddling in the middle of the night.
Comforting.
Feeding.
These moments are gonna fly by.
Im doing my best not to be upset about it.
Im doing my best to just be a mom.

I have a man, a WONDERFUL man.
He doesnt expect much from me.
He understands how tired I am.
He loved me so much.
He is learning as well.
I know he to is tired.
He works SOOOO hard.

He works, so I can be tired at home with my kids.
He works so I can stay in my PJs all day loving on them.
He works so hard, to give be the opportunity to see each and every milestone.
to be there to catch tears.
to kiss boo boos
to watch imaginations grow.
to watch friendships between siblings blossom.
To hug,
to kiss,
to be a mom!
To be a sleep deprived, headached, body aching MOM.

AND I wouldnt change it for the world!
ONE DAY my babies wont need me every waking and nonwaking moment of life.
ONE DAY they wont need me to suckle their noses, to open their snack, to wipe their bums.

When THAT day comes.....

I WILL SLEEP!

Need YOU to choose!

Do you ever wanna take a photo of your hair, and you just dont know how to pose.. What kinda facial expression should you have? lighting? Yeah, I have that problem (keeping nothing from you, scroll down, far, there is like 15 photos):

I do know NOT to take a photo from below, do that and Im welcoming double chin heaven all up on the photo....No one wants that... NO ONE!
ANY HOW!
My hair is currently, kinda the above color, I think its a little Oranger in person.
Im torn, on whether to change it....
I can keep it the above color for awhile longer, I do really like it.
I can go Red, like Red Red, like yeah, red, not red head orange red, like it is now, more crayon deep red...
OR I can go Black. With red chunks. Thats fun.
Its all fun.

I LOVE coloring my hair!

SO You pick! and I will color my hair whatever has the most votes!

a) Keep it as is for now
b) Crayon deep red
c) Black with colored chunks

Try to comment below here on the blog if you can and not FB, but if FB is all you can do, thats fine!

Thanks friends!

Self

Recently I read a blog, she said something about how she dresses for other women and not for her hubby. I thought about that. I thought about it for a long while. I do the same. Its SOOO hard. Im in a MOPS group, they ALL dress so very cute, the young marrieds group Im in, yup dress so cute. Every where I turn! I of COURSE HAVE to fit in. After that post, I decided to make a little change.

My hubby is a jean and T-shirt kinda guy. SO Ive been wearing just that, a normal every day t-shirt with jeans, and he has complimented me! WOOO A COMPLIMENT LOVE it!
Ive been way more comfortable, and WAY more me.
Its been great!

I had a little bit of a hard time going to MOPS and to Bible study like that... I pushed through it, and Im glad I did.

Here is the blog post I read, in case your interested : On My Mind

Oh and, my hubby also prefers no make-up and natural hair.... I dont think Im ready for that... I LOVE make-up and hair!

Hopscotch and Lollipops

So a few months ago a very good friend of mine contacted me and asked me to pick out a few fabrics, she was gonna create a dress line.
Im not gonna lie, at the time I was uber pregnant, tired, sick just plain over, I REALLY didnt want to do it, but I did, cuz I love her. I looked at the first page, picked 3 fabrics that were highlighted that day on the fabric site and was done.
I wasnt thrilled with my choices. kinda blah, kinda not me. I was gonna choose 3 different ones, never got around to it. I felt bad. ACTUALLY I felt TERRIBLE that I really didnt give thought, or put my heart into it, for my friend! UGH oh well.

SO now a few months later, Im not pregnant, well not with Penelope anymore anyway!
The dress line is COMPLETE! We did the photoshoot last week, the dresses are DARLING! Anberlyn is just the cutest in her little dress.
AND I LOVE the fabrics I ended up choosing, they go so well with one another, they are bright, but not overly, they are perfection!

GO Check it out, of course I recommend The Anberlyn dress, but they are all SOOO cute! Go look at them ALL here:


 ROCK A BOW


Will you come back here and let me know what you think? 
I would LOVE to hear!
I will post more photos when I get them!

PS Im not pregnant, I just think Im funny! HAHAHA! ;oD

I like to vent

Has anyone said:
I have best friends. We've been through the world together, there is no more room for new friends. Now get comfortable and share your life, open up!

Yeah I shut down, walls went up. What do you do with that?

The last few months have been a huge battle for me..
Youve seen it. Ive written about it. a couple times.
WOE is me...

A couple things have happened.
Ive put myself in a bubble.
Im floating around.

Im oh so cautious about anything and everything Im saying.
If I say something dumb, I dwell on it for days.
Im so afraid of what others are thinking.
My friends.
Im afraid to get close to anyone.
Im afraid of getting hurt.

I dont want to be hurt.
I dont know how to be a friend.

I hate feeling stupid.
Im afraid of hurting someone else.
I dont want to do that.

Tonight at my agape group,
I said something.
Something I never thought before.
It just came out.

Im not trusting GOD!
Im not trusting Him to bring me a friend.
Im not trusting HIM!

Its not about numbers.
Its about a good small core group,
A group of 1, or group of 5.

Laughing. Crying. Honesty. Godliness.

It will be great.
My heart is out there.
Kinda.

Im putting it in the hands of my Heavenly Father.
This is hard.

I pray my bubble will pop, and I can take a huge step of faith! 

I like to vent here. I like to let it all out.
And if you feel like Im all woe is me..
Why are you writing about this again.

If by chance your rolling your eyes at me...
THEN dont read!
Its simple!

Thanks guys!
I kinda feel a little better!

Though, my heart is still a little broken..
and I dont know what to do...
Im learning to pray.
I think that is a good thing to do!

PS through this, my hubster and I have grown closer! He is truly my best friend! I love him so much!
Pssssssst.. another PS. No pity, Im not looking for that at all! If you wanna say a little prayer, sure, I just wanted to vent though.
Thanks :o)

We have a different new place.
Things were so up in the air.

The Landlord at the other place, kept making changes to the agreement,
AFTER we signed.
So we got out of that.
Now we are having tons of problems with them,
trying to get our deposit and first months rent back from them.

SO we went searching. Less than a week before we were moving.
We found a place.
Cheaper.
Nicer.
Everything new!
God had a plan.

Im glad.
We move tomorrow.
We have lots of work to do!
Just about EVERYTHING is packed.
We did well,
by WE I mean NICK!
Hes done it all.

Help for the move is slim,
its freaking me out!
It will be ok though.

It might be a bit of work for Nick.
It will get done.

YAY!

I LOVE new places. I love moving.
I dont love the process of moving.
hopefully though, this is the last move before the BIG move!

Our dream is to move to Seattle area.
Whether in 3 months or 10 years.

New place

So we went yesterday to look at it.
It was Nicks first time seeing it.

He said he wouldnt have rented it....
OOPS!

I guess I knew he wouldnt like it.

Last time we were looking for a place, a few months back,
everything we looked at and liked,
got rented out to someone else.
So I think when I saw this place,
it was decent,
has everything we were looking for.,
I felt like we had to put in an application fast, hurry take it!!!

Its a little tore back.
Not painted by professionals,
repairs were done sloppy.
Floors installed sloppy.
little things.

BUT there are a lot of great things about it.

We will make it our own.
We will make it home.
Im excited about that.

Hopefully I do it right away,
and they arent just plans, that sit there until we move!
This is a temporary home.
1-2 years.
Im sad Nick wasnt thrilled.
He doesnt hate it.
He kinda likes it.
He just said he wouldnt have rented it!
Oh well.

OH and the master beds walls are grey, not blue/green.
The bathroom walls are blue,
and BEAUTIFUL BRIGHT blue. (The same color as THIS ROOM)
So I think the bathroom walls are bouncing off the gray walls.


NOW Im gonna change the colors of the fabrics I wanna use.