to say, Ive been living on my couch. Im SO very exhausted.! I feel like I already have 3! Two of the three are literally sucking the life out of me, with one growing within, and one still breastfeeding.
Now its doctors bills, making lists of things we need, and just staying rested!
This past week we decided it was time to sleep train Em. the first 2 nights were hard, the next not so bad, and last night, she went to bed without crying and SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! WOOOOOO Me on the other hand, i woke up a few times, I need to sleep train myself now! The joys of being a mommy! I only have a few short months before I start waking up over and over again to pee or heart burn, or my back is killing me. Im so not excited, I am excited though to meet my newest little one at the end of this! I pray though I get to meet him or her!
You see Im REALLY afraid Im going to loose this baby. All around me Im reading stories or seeing on TV of moms loosing their babies, before getting to meet them. Im scared that Im getting prepared for this. Prepared to be 36 weeks only to find out my baby is no longer living. I know Im being crazy.
I heard my babies heart beat today and it took everything in me to not burst onto tears of joy. To know that he or she is living, moving, brings a smile to my face, this little booger is killing me. Im sick, Im tired and Im ready for all this to be done. A few (like 7) more months. Do I think Im bordering depression? yeah at some moments, at others I feel perfectly fine. This whole thing is super unexpected, and just a bit of a shock, and I think I just need time to grasp it. Im sure after the first trimester is over and done with I will be doing much better. Im at nine weeks now. So in about a month! HA
Well Im super tired, and Im gonna go sit in my beloved bath. Im addicted to taking baths, while pregnant I was with both girls as well!
Pregnancy with two other little ones running around is hard. I'm not gonna sugar coat it. Don't feel bad if all you can do is lay on the couch and watch TV all day with them. Just do what you have to do to get through and don't feel bad about it!!
ReplyDeleteYou are going to be fine and your little one is in God's hands. Just hand over the worry, stress, and anxiety about his life over to our heavenly Father who is forming his very being. I will be praying for you and that baby too.
And I have to say one more thing...even though it's hell now, ENJOY just having two. With one more in the mix soon you are going to feel like, "WOW! Two was cake! What ever was I complaining about?" Trust me! ;)
sorry I said his life...I meant it's life.
ReplyDeletePraying for you mama! Something I learned in my childbirth class was to avoid (when possible) stories about pregnancy loss or horrible birth stories. The thought process being that pregnancy is hard enough without worrying constantly about the "what ifs." I'm a "worry wart" by nature, so what helped me was telling myself every day "Pregnancy is natural, normal, healthy and safe for me and my baby." IF something were to come up, I figured me and God would handle it then, and worrying wouldn't help a thing! :-) (I had lots of unexplained bleeding and hospital trips with Noah, so I totally know what the nervous feeling feels like!)
ReplyDeleteYou're in my prayer journal, so I'm lifting you and this pregnancy up every day! You're going to do GREAT!