to say, Ive been living on my couch. Im SO very exhausted.! I feel like I already have 3! Two of the three are literally sucking the life out of me, with one growing within, and one still breastfeeding.
Now its doctors bills, making lists of things we need, and just staying rested!
This past week we decided it was time to sleep train Em. the first 2 nights were hard, the next not so bad, and last night, she went to bed without crying and SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! WOOOOOO Me on the other hand, i woke up a few times, I need to sleep train myself now! The joys of being a mommy! I only have a few short months before I start waking up over and over again to pee or heart burn, or my back is killing me. Im so not excited, I am excited though to meet my newest little one at the end of this! I pray though I get to meet him or her!
You see Im REALLY afraid Im going to loose this baby. All around me Im reading stories or seeing on TV of moms loosing their babies, before getting to meet them. Im scared that Im getting prepared for this. Prepared to be 36 weeks only to find out my baby is no longer living. I know Im being crazy.
I heard my babies heart beat today and it took everything in me to not burst onto tears of joy. To know that he or she is living, moving, brings a smile to my face, this little booger is killing me. Im sick, Im tired and Im ready for all this to be done. A few (like 7) more months. Do I think Im bordering depression? yeah at some moments, at others I feel perfectly fine. This whole thing is super unexpected, and just a bit of a shock, and I think I just need time to grasp it. Im sure after the first trimester is over and done with I will be doing much better. Im at nine weeks now. So in about a month! HA
Well Im super tired, and Im gonna go sit in my beloved bath. Im addicted to taking baths, while pregnant I was with both girls as well!