Once upon a time I was an outgoing could care less what you think type person!
Then I married Nick, who is kinda to himself, shy and just not an outgoing person.
Her rubbed off on me, instead of me rubbing off on him.
I now keep to myself, have a hard time making friends and all around not the same person.
The friends I had having taken a step back, OR I have. I kind of secluded myself during my last pregnancy, and I still am. I think 3 kids not only scares me but scares others around me. I separated myself from friends, I wasnt giving my friendship, Im still not, and just isolated myself.
Nick and I sat and talked and talked and talked recently. It was a wonderful time of laughing and tears. Lots of emotions. It was long overdue, as I have been holding so much in. Since giving birth to the last one I was battling the baby blues, I was put on the pill, as to not make any babies right now, and that made it SOOO much worse, I was crying day in and day out feeling extremely alone and just miserable. I stopped taking said pill, and I feel OH SO much better. Im not crying so much. I regret not sharing this with others and dealing with it alone. Nick didnt even know, he just thought I was tired.
So I have made a pack with myself, Im putting myself out there. I will get to know more Christian women. I have signed up for a ladies Bible Study, MOPS, and we attend a Young Marrieds service at our church. I have been making new friends there, and I can not wait for those friendships to grow stronger! I want to re-get to know old friends, and just all around be surrounded by Jesus FREAKS! HEHEHE
I think part of my isolating myself was because I wasnt 'known' for anything, I have friends who are known for their AMAZING voice, for their talents in sewing, for their teaching skills, for their baking skills, and I FELT that I had nothing, one reason I think I started loving nail polishes so much.
I want to be known for loving Jesus, for raising my kids to love Him, To be known for loving my husband, for being a homemaker and a wife, OH and a mommy (for being patient!)! Those are my goals, and Im gonna take it one step at a time! Tackling it all at once, and I think I would fail! My kids are still very young, and rest is important as well!
PS and in the friendships I make, Im praying that their husbands, and my hubby get along, because I want my hubster to have friends as well!