I like to vent

Has anyone said:
I have best friends. We've been through the world together, there is no more room for new friends. Now get comfortable and share your life, open up!

Yeah I shut down, walls went up. What do you do with that?

The last few months have been a huge battle for me..
Youve seen it. Ive written about it. a couple times.
WOE is me...

A couple things have happened.
Ive put myself in a bubble.
Im floating around.

Im oh so cautious about anything and everything Im saying.
If I say something dumb, I dwell on it for days.
Im so afraid of what others are thinking.
My friends.
Im afraid to get close to anyone.
Im afraid of getting hurt.

I dont want to be hurt.
I dont know how to be a friend.

I hate feeling stupid.
Im afraid of hurting someone else.
I dont want to do that.

Tonight at my agape group,
I said something.
Something I never thought before.
It just came out.

Im not trusting GOD!
Im not trusting Him to bring me a friend.
Im not trusting HIM!

Its not about numbers.
Its about a good small core group,
A group of 1, or group of 5.

Laughing. Crying. Honesty. Godliness.

It will be great.
My heart is out there.
Kinda.

Im putting it in the hands of my Heavenly Father.
This is hard.

I pray my bubble will pop, and I can take a huge step of faith! 

I like to vent here. I like to let it all out.
And if you feel like Im all woe is me..
Why are you writing about this again.

If by chance your rolling your eyes at me...
THEN dont read!
Its simple!

Thanks guys!
I kinda feel a little better!

Though, my heart is still a little broken..
and I dont know what to do...
Im learning to pray.
I think that is a good thing to do!

PS through this, my hubster and I have grown closer! He is truly my best friend! I love him so much!
Pssssssst.. another PS. No pity, Im not looking for that at all! If you wanna say a little prayer, sure, I just wanted to vent though.
Thanks :o)