If we sat down for coffee {I would exhale & smile in relief}, I would let you know how I'm not fond of hot drinks, give em to me iced or blended!
Really though, I think I would talk about how I sorta had a rough week. Monday was great a few friends came over and we had such a great time!!! It was much needed, loved giggling and painting nails! Needs to happen much more often.
Then emotions took over.
I got upset, upset over how much people were looking at the good works Anberlyn did last week. Looking at how great her heart is. I am overly proud of her, and who God is making her to be, but I guess I was hoping people would see the bigger pictures, that their hearts would be led to help out the Collins Clan in their adoption. That just wasn't what happened. I was bummed about it. Gods working on me there. He is in control, Hes got this. I think I'm looking at them and thinking, wow this is what I'm gonna be going through in a few years! So it kinda hits close to home {ish}, and scares me, yet it excites me greatly!
Then Id talk about feelings, and girl stuff, and how overly emotional I can be! I don't like to talk about it though... So I don't, and won't today.
Id talk about how I just celebrated 9 years of marriage to my hot hubby, my best friend! We didn't do anything. To tell you the truth it kinda bummed me out. We were gonna take the kids to Chick Fil A for dinner, BUT they would not listen, would not get shoes on, would not do anything I asked them to do. So I made dinner, and we ditched going out.{Its hard with kids} Especially since Nick was already working late. He did go pick up carne asada fries {not my favorite}, from my favorite place after the kids went to bed.
{I should have been way more grateful that I have him home with me, that he puts up with me and all my issues {I have many} I should have just relished in the time spent sitting on the floor with him, I should have just been happy, but no, I pouted, I smiled, while crying on the inside, I was overly woman, and that wasnt fair to him... taken advantage of our moments without kids screaming and yelling.. If only I could go back....}
Id tell you Im exhausted, Anberlyn kept waking up, crying, she is currently afraid of the ceiling fan. Though Penelope is sleeping GREAT at night, from 8:30-9+ the others, mainly the biggest is waking up a lot. {she is currently afraid of a lot of things... Thats a whole nother post where I ask for help!}
Id tell you that I have been really great in keeping my kitchen clean this week. Making new habits, one room at a time. Once I have keeping the kitchen tidy for a bit, I will work on keeping another room clean. Its kinda great so far!
I would keep ranting and venting and woe is me 'ing' but I would truly want to know whats going on with you! Whats keeping you up at night friend?
I'm so sorry friend that those feelings creep up at the wrong time. I always tell myself the good Anniversaries will come when these babies are grown. Until then Anniversary's, Mother's Day, Birthdays.... We take what we get. :-) even though it may not be what we would have wanted or planned.
ReplyDeleteI'll keep you in my prayers.