Coffee Date

If we sat down for Coffee this morning, today, I would have red swollen eyes, tear pouring from my eyes and they would be the prettiest color blue you ever did see, cuz when I cry my eyes become a bright turquoise color! I so wish they were that color always, it would be awesome.
You would ask what was wrong and I would do my best not to ignore the question, but how could I, Im a mess!!!

Im beyond stressed and overwhelmed! Hubby is looking and waiting on a possible move within the company, with a possibility of taking a different position here.. The unknown and waiting on that has me just frazzled! On top of that, I started homeschooling Kindergarten this year, I have no idea what Im doing, I have it all laid out and I just stare at it! I think Im doing a 'just wing it' approach, and ITS NOT WORKING! I just received a homeschool daily planner in the mail. I filled out next weeks work, Im gonna try to prepare for the day, the day before, and I pray and hope I just get a routine down.

My youngest doesnt help, she is 15 months and just wants to be in it all! Climbing on the desks pulling paper out and throwing it everywhere, I try to give her activities, but she wants to do what her sister is doing! The middle does well, for the most part.. When I finally get the biggest down and we start working, she wants to be done with it so she can do what her sisters are doing, and I understand that!!

Our goal this weekend is to get the classroom put together somewhat! So she can do work there, and the youngers can play in their bedroom next door, or play downstairs. I need to figure this out somewhat! Im not sleeping. Im exhausted, Im stressed, overwhelmed and just cant take it!

I didnt want to share this, I want you all to believe, that Ive got this!!! Honestly though, I dont! I dont at all! This is hard, much more difficult than I thought it would be! The work isnt that hard, its not to much, I love the curriculum!

About now, I would be crying all over again! I just cant stop. My body is shutting down, and just want me to curl up and sleep, Im snapping a lot easier and arg. I think I would ask if you had a tissue, as I ugly cry for you, not making eye contact, yet oh so thankful your listening to my babble.

I finally told my hubby last night how much Im stressing over the homeschool and his job thing, he wished I would have told him sooner, Im really really good about putting on a front, not letting anyone know how much Im struggling! Who wants to share with someone that they are failing, that they just cant do it!

The good thing though, its showing me how much I truly need to rely on God! How much I need to turn to him and rest in His arms....

Thanks again friends, now lets eat some cupitycakes!!! Chocolate!?!?!?! Or a tattoo! I REALLY wanna get one! {or 12}

Linking up with Alissa!