Im still alive

Its been awhile!!!
Still sinking in, 3 kids!
Still sick
Still EXHAUSTED!
Blog..........
not at the top of my list.
Sleep is!
This morning,
Poor poor baby
My youngest spit up,
this preggo belly did everything
in its power to hold it in,
but couldnt
poor poor baby
got spit up on herself!
Mommy spit up!
It was so gross
Im 10 weeks along,
prayerfully
(will you say them with me)
this sickness starts to ease.


My spirits have been higher!
not as gloomy.
Nick has helped!!
He truly is SUPER amazing!
He makes me smile!
He warms my heart!
I couldnt do any of this
without him by my side!
and hes kinda cute! ;o)

The girls are great, growing so quickly,
3 is just around the corner for my Anbo!
Yikes, then its 18.
She is so smart,
spunky,
and has an attitude!!!!
Drives me CRAZY!
but I love her!

Em is almost 9 months,
She is such a joy!
As Anbo was at this time
Im loving her.
She go go go,
and so very happy!

In just over 2 weeks,
we find out what we are having!!!
We are going early,
so we know before Christmas!
Im excited.
Nervous!
like I said, its still sinking in.
Once I see the little one,
Its gonna be real!
More real than just hearing the heart beat,
but SEEING it!
YIKES!

Well my head is spinning staring at this screen,
So Good bye!

not much..

to say, Ive been living on my couch. Im SO very exhausted.! I feel like I already have 3! Two of the three are literally sucking the life out of me, with one growing within, and one still breastfeeding.

Now its doctors bills, making lists of things we need, and just staying rested!

This past week we decided it was time to sleep train Em. the first 2 nights were hard, the next not so bad, and last night, she went to bed without crying and SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! WOOOOOO Me on the other hand, i woke up a few times, I need to sleep train myself now! The joys of being a mommy! I only have a few short months before I start waking up over and over again to pee or heart burn, or my back is killing me. Im so not excited, I am excited though to meet my newest little one at the end of this! I pray though I get to meet him or her!

You see Im REALLY afraid Im going to loose this baby. All around me Im reading stories or seeing on TV of moms loosing their babies, before getting to meet them. Im scared that Im getting prepared for this. Prepared to be 36 weeks only to find out my baby is no longer living. I know Im being crazy.

I heard my babies heart beat today and it took everything in me to not burst onto tears of joy. To know that he or she is living, moving, brings a smile to my face, this little booger is killing me. Im sick, Im tired and Im ready for all this to be done. A few (like 7) more months. Do I think Im bordering depression? yeah at some moments, at others I feel perfectly fine. This whole thing is super unexpected, and just a bit of a shock, and I think I just need time to grasp it. Im sure after the first trimester is over and done with I will be doing much better. Im at nine weeks now. So in about a month! HA

Well Im super tired, and Im gonna go sit in my beloved bath. Im addicted to taking baths, while pregnant I was with both girls as well!

Pregnant... Again

Ive wanted to tell everyone!
Kinda
I also wanted to keep it to myself FOREVER!
Well at least until I show.
Im 7 weeks 2 days along
Due June 16th....ish
If I follow the trend of my girls,
Maybe a May baby! (that was cute)
Im scared!
2 was good for me!
BUT God wants me to have at least 3.
I will go with what HE wants, do I have a choice...?
and I wanted to wait to tell you
until the shirts came,
They got lost in the mail.....
I watched them..
I tracked them!
You should have known earlier this week!
Oh well!
Did I mention Im scared!!!!
Em is still in our room!
Does not sleep through the night anymore!
Im SOOOOOOOOOOOO Tired!
Im sick!
This pregnancy,
like the others..
Has made me sick!
I threw up everything I ate for almost 2 days!
I called my OB and demanded Meds!
She gave them to me willingly!
I feel better,
Still very sick,
not throwing up
A BIG Plus!
They want me to stop breastfeeding!!!
Im torn !
I want to keep going,
but maybe she will sleep better with formula!
I gave it to her for the first time this week,
She is taking to it.
Still gets the breastmilk at night.
Its easier!

I put real pants on today!!
First time in a week!
Ive lived on the corner of my couch!
Em crawls to it.
Even if Im not there!
HA
That tells you something!
I cant stop showering though!
It makes me feel better!
So Im a CLEAN bum!

I cant cook dinner!
I feel like a failure!
Nicks amazing though,
He understands!

I had a breakdown the other night
Bawling my eyes out!
It was bad.
Nick took care of it!
It was late!

The morning we found out.
I took the test.
knowing I was pregnant
(I just knew)
2 lines appeared,
I walked in the bedroom,
Nick still sound asleep,
Me CRYING!
And I said, Nick, Its positive! HA
He didnt believe me!
He took the test, went to the bathroom and read the box~
Then had the biggest goofiest grin on his face!
It was special!

Well there it is!
in a HUGE nutshell!

Im scared!

AHHHHHHHHHHH

only 15 ish months apart!!!

We are nuts!
CRAZY!

With God though,
We can do it!

Do you see it?

The new picture above?

Unexpected let me tell you!

Bed Head

A few months ago there was a post by another blogger, about bed head, she asked that we post photos of our bed head. Mine at the time was never that bad, NOW YIKES! Let me share my fun! HA:

I know! Super attractive, I know you feel super close to me now, think of my poor hubby, he wakes up to this! OR the days I forget to remove make-up the night before and I have black just smeared everywhere!

a ramble,....a scramble of words

Sleep is lacking.
Em wakes up CONSTANTLY each night.
Its all habit,
I know this.
This weekend,
Im gonna TRY to break it.!
She is moving out of our room!
Into the playroom.
Naps will be in her room (sharing with the Bo)
Im kinda scared...
No nervous
Its just change.

Im buying myself new clothing,
little by little,
oddly I dont wanna wear any of it,
not until I have more,
and it feels more complete....

I am becoming more and more aware
I SUCK at being a house wife.
I tell Nick that Im sorry for being a bad wife,
He tells me that Im a WONDERFUL wife,
just a sucky house keeper! HA
I do enjoy cooking dinner every night.
I do not like to do the dishes.

I am addicted to coke!
REALLY REALLY am!
When Carls started selling 42 oz for a DOLLAR!
$1.09 total,
I was all over it!
a few times a week!
Its terrible..
I KNOW!

Im truly stressed
about having to host this months Tea.
cleaning
making snacks
having a bunch of people here
(actually I dont mind having people here)


Im doing a boutique next month!
For Sensaria.
I dont know what to do!
I want to grab peoples attention!
I dont want to spend money!

People keep posting on FB
about "coming out day"
Im not a homosexual hater.
Ive had friends.
Im just not ok with that,
being homosexual.
20 years ago
If you said,
"Two men want to get married"
People would have flipped!
So whats gonna happen 20 years from now!?!
It will be ok to marry a tree... a dog.... your brother.... A LITTLE GIRL!!
Why not if they love each other,
Who am I to say, or to keep them from each other!
I do feel its a choice.
People are born with a tendency to be a drug addict, alcoholic, murderer.
Why do we stop them?
I choose not to run my car into a guy that cut me off!

Im sorry, just going through my head.
I have a TON going through my head right now!
The biggest of which I can not share with you,
at least not at this time.
not until its all worked out.
figured out.
but know,
my head is spinning!
And would love your prayers!
That GODS will be done!

off to get the girls ready!
bye for now!

Free Giveaway!

THIS precious family is doing a Free Giveaway while they wait! Go Check it out!!!

Stolen

  From Sensaria's blog: Whats in a Name?

It's Friday, so naturally, you expect to hear from Janet Therese, our Product Development & Education Manager.  And speaking of things that happen naturally, today Janet asked us to share some important information about truth-in-labeling regulations and why we proudly, truthfully and safely call ourselves a naturally-based skincare company.


Behind every Sensaria product stands science. Naturally.

Naturally based products are one of the leading trends in America today. When it comes to naturally based, we’re proud to say we were on the leading edge of this trend.

Sensaria Representatives are often questioned about why chemicals are listed on our labels if our products are naturally based. Simply put, every natural substance known to man and every natural or organic product on the market today is made up of ingredients that have chemical names and chemical formulations — and most of them are unpronounceable.


It’s really just semantics. Let me explain: consider honey. Could anything be more natural? But call it by another name, and that’s where things get complicated.


Honey is accurately and legally described as “Glucose Fructose” or “Sucrose Glucose” (with small amounts of hydrogen peroxide and gluconic acid). Another version of the same honey can be described as 6-(hydroxymethyl) oxane-2, 3, 4, 5-tetrol.


Why is this important? The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) requires that all ingredients (pronounceable, recognizable or not) be listed for every packaged product that is offered to the American consumer. This is true for food as well as health and beauty products and is a regulation that exists for everyone’s safety and well being.

So if you're wondering exactly what all those ingredients are in our Shower Sugars, 4-Step Skin Care products, Body Lotions, etc., you needn’t worry. Sensaria’s products contain no hazardous chemicals or dangerous additives. Our ingredients are taken from nature and combined —scientifically — to effectively provide us with all their naturally powerful benefits, with the FDA’s seal of approval.


At Sensaria, we do the science, follow the rules and make sure that it’s safe and effective for the whole family. Naturally!
Sincerely,


Janet Therese
Product Development & Education Manager
Sensaria

Sensariality: What's In A Name?

Sensariality: What's In A Name?: "It's Friday, so naturally, you expect to hear from Janet Therese, our Product Development & Education Manager. And speaking of things that ..."

Its Funny!

So Im a Sensaria Rep.
Im a Rep because I LOVE LOVE the products.
but since I am a Rep, it like my opinion on skin care doesnt matter.
like when people ask and I share stories about how it has helped others I know,
They look at me like Im making stuff up and lieing just to get a sale!
So not true. It frustrates me a bit!
Sensaria has AMAZING products. Naturally based.

Using the right skin care can cure all your problems.
if you have an acne problem and your using the wrong product, a product that almost makes your face squeak after using it, Your face is screaming NOOOOO then it over produces oils to compensate for everything you you stripped off.

Dry skin needs the proper moisutrizer, something that will penetrate, heal from below.

So many things. Your body as well. a body wash that isnt drying your skin out. I could go on and on all day!

I have my favorite products!
I am a Rep to make money, BUT more so I am a Rep to spread knowledge about proper skin care. And my love for it!
So I think once a week, Im gonna post a favorite product of mine, OR the special going on, or something to do with my business! Why not, others post about the bows they make, or the stuff they sell. This is my passion, I have put on hold for my kids!

50 things

I did it! 50 facts about me!

1. Im naturally blonde
2. I was engaged 3 months after meeting Nick
3. Married 3 months after that
4. Nick was my very first kiss, on our wedding day.
5. Im a leap year baby
6. My first car was a 1990 Caca brown Astro van! 
7. I put a 3 inch wide 7 inch long hole in said van by driving WAY to close to a fire hydrant.
8. Im trying to stray away from FB to find real friends. 
9. I dont post on FB that I have done a new blog. If your my friend, and a blogger, you see that Ive done a new blog.
10. I love Jesus, I go to church twice a week. 
11. I will be homeschooling my children.
12. I LOVE TV, and movies, I really should cut back!
13. My home is ALWAYS a mess! 
14. As soon as I get home from anywhere, I remove my pants, I will either stay in my chones, or put on PJ pants. 
15. I HATE when people wear shoes that shoe their toes and the nail polish is really grown out or chipped! Im guilty of it! 
16. I have a hard time making friends. I come of mean, but Im not. 
17. I have a secret! only 2 people know it.
18. I left high school and got my GED. I HATED HS, was bored.
19. Rain makes me very happy, I LOVE gloomy cool weather.
20. I can not wait to move to Washington State!
21. My dads guinea pig dad on my watch this past weekend.
22. I went to 5 different elementary schools, 1 junior high and 2 high schools.
23. We are in debt. and we see the light at the end of the tunnel!
24. I went to cosmetology school, and I am licensed. 
25. I LOVE skin care, amd honestly LOVE Sensaria! I think its great! 
26. I REALLY wanted to be an esthetician, but the thought of popping zits on gross people, GROSSED me out!
27. I CAN NOT hold my pee, Nick broke me when we got married, then I had Anbo, it was better, THEN I had Em, Im now broken again. Im ok if I know there isnt a toilet around (most the time) but once I know there is a toilet within a reasonable distance, its all over, I may or may not make it! So sad!
28. I HATE flushing the toilet at night. 
29. A crowded costco frustrates me!!! I have found Tuesday evenings are EMPTY. Its wonderful!
30. I LOVE grape juice!!! 
31. I am addicted to Coke/caffeine, but Coke yum, the bubbles, the sweetness, lots of ice! YUM!
32. I have a real fear of an earthquake happening while Im cleaning out my ears.
33. I owned a 1968 dodge dart, I loved it SOOO much. Some drunk/high guy hit me while I had both my siblings and a friends 2 year old in the car. It was a tank and saved all our lives!
34. I have 2 younger siblings, a sister in Phoenix, a brother stationed in Japan!
35. I miss my brother lots and lots!
36. My sister and I just recently started getting along. I thank her boyfriend for that! I think he helped her grow up!
37. I wish it bothered me when my home is a mess.
38. Rather, I with it bothered me enough to clean it! (it does somewhat bother me)
39. Besides being a mom, Starbucks was such a great job, my favorite!
40. I love to cook, but hate to clean, so I dont cook much.
41. I walked a marathon over 2 days to help raise awareness for Breast Cancer.
42. I have 2 favorite princess', I love Ariels since of adventure, I love Snow Whites look, and she is just so sweet.
43. I love Jellyfish, they are so relaxing to watch.
44. Im a fiddler, if Im not twiddling something in my hands, then Im scraping my teeth, or picking at my arms, or something! I used to get in trouble all the time for playing with the chain hanging from the lamp next to my parents couch, or the leaves on plants!
45. I would LOVE to be on a farm for a week, milk a cow, kill and pluck a chicken, gather eggs, just something I wanna do.
46. I love watching how excited my eldest gets when she gets to go on a date with her daddy! 
47. Back in ninth grade I saw Nick playing water polo against my school, When I saw him I told my friend that I was going to marry him. I didnt know him, nor did I see him again for a few years after that. 
48. Creme Brulee is my absolute favorite dessert, and I hardly ever get it!
49. I have no desire to have a boy! I love my girls so much! and if for some odd reason I got pregnant again, I would want another girl! (after I was done crying from the shock of me being pregnant, and not wanting another!)
50. I hate characters! HAHA! I hate them on clothing, shoes, toys. Its fine for others, but I just hate them! 

OH and one more, I have 5 freckles that are in a straight line, all almost equally spaced from each other! I always thought, if someone were to make a clone of me, I better let my close friends and family know about these freckles so they can tell me apart from the clone! I know IM A WEIRDY!

Now I did it! Its your turn! Share 50 things about your self! I wanna read yours!

A Oh so bright light!

I will be homeschooling my children.
Why?
cuz I feel thats what God wants me to do.
He blessed me with these girls.
Its my job as a mom to take care of them
to protect them
to teach them God's word
to know what is being put into their heads!

I discipline my children.
mainly just one as of now.
I do my best to set boundaries,
I expect for her to abide them.

Im trying to surround myself,
with people who care about their children,
people who will discipline,
who CARE ENOUGH to do so.
People who I can allow my daughters around.
People who respect my rules in my home.

Choosing friends is hard.
Finding people with similar values.
morals.
In todays day, its hard to find people with any!

I want to get plugged in...
at my church.
Im so glad to have found a home church.
I love the pastor,
though he is short! HA
Really I dont mind,
just trying to be funny!

Anbo loves our church,
I still havent put Em in the nursery!
Im scared,
its a big step!

I dont know how to use google reader,
it overwhelms me!

Nick loves me!
I was once jealous of others hubbies,
picking people apart
wanting him to be more like this person or that,
but you NEVER know whats behind closed doors!
I now know, I am the LUCKIEST woman!
Nick is SO perfect for me!
And he is THE perfect daddy!

I couldnt ask for more in my little family!
I keep getting asked when Im having the next!
YIKES!!!
2 is perfect! I dont plan on more!
Though if God feels fit,
I will have more,
I have always felt its not up to me.
I DO NOT want 18!!
Im not a nut job!
more kids, not my thing,
I think if I became preggo,
I would cry! (not happy)
But then would accept what God wanted!

Debt,
How I hate thee!
Though its our fault.
We were not smart.
Dave Ramsey
OH
He is helping so much!
Im so happy!!!
We see a light,
A BRIGHT LIGHT,
at the end of this tunnel!
We have been made fun of a little!
we will see who is laughing when we are out of debt,
and we are rolling in the dough! HAHA

I need new clothing!
I want to be cute,
not wear the same thing,
over
and
over
and
over
again!
I want a slight rocker look!
clean, fun, me!

What if I Stumble.....

I have Stumbled, I have fallen, I think the life of a believer, a follower of Christ, is a hard one to live!
I try to live as an example of love, patience, but I fail, I fail daily!
This is something Im working on! I so need to put more trust in my Father! This song has always been a favorite, and Ive listened to it over and over the past few days. you can listen to it HERE!

Ear Wax

I was up really late again last night.
2:15am
UGH
Nick has had EARLY job sites.
Em digestion track is off.
With eating real food.
poor thing is GASSY.
Finally pooped last night.

Need to go grocery shopping.
Cup o noodles doesnt cut it!
Im CRAVING Sushi.
Its been so long.

Im driving to Phoenix  on Friday.
Just me, Em and the bestie.
Should be fun.
Nick and Anbo for the whole weekend!
ALONE.
HA
I hope she is her normal self.

I CANT STAND ear wax.
makes me gag.
Seeing it in kids ears BLEH!
Seeing it in adults ears DOUBLE BLEH!
Baby q-tips are wonderful!
invest!

Im addicted to Nip/Tuck.
Its a TERRIBLE show!
Theres something about it,
It intrigues me.

Nicks birthday is in a week.
I dont know what to get him.
something cheap.

and something he wants.

I weighed Anbo.
25.2 pounds!
HA she is so little!

Im working on the weight thing.
worked out yesterday.
and today.

Might take the girls on a walk.
To Joes.
Sushi!

I wanna ramble

I love rambling,
I LOVE reading peoples rambling!
SOOOOOOO, can I?
But I would wanna ramble everyday!
Would you be ok with that?
I guess you dont have to read it.
I guess I could just go and go!

I went to Knotts today,
we had fun!
The girls played
They bounced
rode cars
rode The Log Ride!
Anbo LOVED it!
Em is always all smiles!
Though I felt as if people gave me a hard time about it!
It kinda hurt my heart!
I deleted the photo off FB!

We have newish great friends!
I LOVE that Nick has a guy friend,
He is on a Man Date with him as we speak!
He needs a good friend or 2 its always been just me!
Its hard for him, he is shy (ish)
We have a lot in common with them,
So its fun.

Anbo has hit her terrible twos!
I know Im lucky
She has hit them late!
BUT IM GOING NUTS!
So mischievous!
Manipulative!
NUTS I Tell ya!
NUTS!
We shall live though!

Weight has been on my mind lately
I have so much to loose!
I know I dont
BUT
I feel like I embarrass Nick.
I wanna look good for him
cute
So Im gonna make a better effort.

Im a house wife.
A mom.
The house wife part sucks.
look to my right~>
a pile of clean clothes
to my left<~
a pile of the girls clean clothes!
In front of me ^ toys!
Its a mess! Crumbs to! YUCK!

I just need to go through
do a DEEP clean!
Get rid of everything!
Maybe that will help!
We have a lot of crap.

I think Ive rambled enough...
Im sure I will have more
This is fun
relaxing!
Im also gonna try to post...
Post more pictures!

thanks for listening!

Emmy Lane 6 Months

CANT BELIEVE IT!
Time sure has flown by! I just love and adore her, she is so much like her big sister, yet so very very different!

*At this time she is still strictly breastfed (YAY ME, haha Anbo was only fed for 4 weeks, I dried up so this is a HUGE accomplishment!)
*She has NO interest in food, we tried, so we are going to wait til 7 months
*She is still in our room, this is because of the sharing rooms, I dont know that Anbo will take that to well
*Em sleeps really well, 5+ hours straight, she will wake eat for 5 minutes and be right back to sleep.
*She "talks" CONSTANTLY, mamama bababa so on
*She has a tooth just sitting below the surface of the skin, its been sitting there for about a month.
*DROOLER, a constant faucet
*sleeps on her tum
*she can push her way to get things she want that are out of reach,
*also spins in circles.
*Anbo and Em just adore each other
*Em is always smiling and is really just a fantastic child
*Small describes my little one, at this time she is 13 pounds 2 ounces, 5th-10th percentile and 50th% for height.

ITS HERE

Tomorrow we make our way up the coast 2 hours! I will be spending the night there THEN wake up early Saturday morning and Walk Walk Walk!!! I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO SUPER EXCITED! Its gonna be a great experience, it will be fun to see all the different people, of all ages and all different stages in life! Also to meet new people! This will be an adventure and Im not stressing about it at all, I know to take it one step at a time and to just enjoy every moment of it! The weather is supposed to be AMAZING, though I just checked and its supposed to be warmer than when I originally looked :o/.


Prayer request!!! : Right now I have a bug, every time I eat, that food just flows straight out of me! I really REALLY want to walk! But if this continues, I can get dehydrated, and I do not want that, and I cant walk!

SO PRAY! Thanks guys! Im excited!

What happens when your Bored

and on a budget!!


You Cut all your hair off!!!

Before Front

Before Back!!!

After Front! ( I LOVE IT)

After Back

You should see my Trash can! Its FILLED with Hair! I had a lot of fun doing this and miss my hair being short! Now to color it!

What color do you think I should go? I wanna have fun and am leaning toward Blonder than blond!

Happy Mothers Day!

I LOVED this layout, then saw it said Happy Mothers Day, hmmmm well as a mommy, Mothers day is everyday! I get such a joy out of my daughters, as well as lots of frustration as terrible twos have kicked in!! Its all part of it though, part of being a mommy!

Its my job to try to guide them and nurture them into God fearing adults! Im so working on it! Its a tough tough, did I say TOUGH job, and I love every moment!

Im sitting her 20 till midnight waiting for my youngest to wake up and NEED ME! Not daddy ME! I LOVE the one on one time I get with her! Such a joy, especially knowing she is our last, Im cherishing these moments!

Posts are far and in between with me, so a quick update, I have surpassed my goal for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer!!!! I have been training for the walk, not hard, nor as much as I would like but Im walking last week I think it was about 13 miles of walking, which is good, BUT the walk is in 40 days! I need to get my butt into gear! Which is tough with 2 little ones!

SOO Whats going on!

Ive been working on the Silent Auction! Less than 2 weeks! YIKES and YIPEE! I have about $700 to go to meet my required goal! I super excited! We have some AMAZING things being Auctioned off, you do not want to miss it!
What to expect:
a raffle- Tickets will be sold at a price that is yet to be determined. (Cash)
             things being raffled off are:
                  $50 Macys Gift Card
                   Sensaria Products
                   A Sephora gift card
                   A $100 GLEN IVY GIFT CARD!!! (YOU might win this! YOU)
             And a few other items

The Silent Auction portion will include: (This you can pay with cash, check or Credit/Debit card)
                  A SUPER SUPER cute Basket of little boy items ( did I mention SUPER CUTE)
                  A Basket with amazing decorative plates and a decor pillow, I so wish it matched my home, I
                      would keep it! HEHE
                  A movie basket! Candies and tickets and wonderful items
                  A handmade quilt!
                  A handmade purse!
                  A handmade bag with these SUPER cool handmade to go place mats for kids that hold a plate
                      and utensils!
                  A brand new exersaucer
                 Scrapbooking items for girls, Pink and Brown
                 AND MORE!.....

We will also be selling a lunch which will include a hot dog soda/water and a bag of chips! (Cash)
There will be yummy baked goods (Cash)

One LAST thing, is we will have a couple of juice jugs set out for you to put your change! Bring Pennies, Nickles, Quarter, Hey Dollars if you want!!! HAHA Lets fill these jars up!

Did you get all that! YIKES I just through it all out there, and its all gibberish!

IF you cant make it Consider donating to me online, please go to: http://www.avonwalk.org/goto/TessBenson

If you want more information on the Silent Auction PLEASE comment and ask! We would be happy to have you!

Purple FlowERRRRRRR!!

Anberlyn LOVES purple flowers! If we are driving down the road and she sees them its a big ordeal! She yells
"PURPLE FLOW...WERRRRRRR!!!"

Its super cute and fun.

Unless Em is sleeping... Then not so fun!

So there has been flower buds for a few days just outside our door, I kept telling her that there are purple flowers in there and they will bloom soon.

Today we noticed them!!! She was so excited, here she is giving them a sniff! She ended up with pollen all over her face!

Was it worth the wait.......?

Not long ago a friend asked me the question "was it worth the wait?" I honestly didnt know what she was talking about. In further discussion I asked her, then continued to explain "YES, yes it was worth the wait!!"

I had many of opportunity to kiss guys, I had 3 guys (2 of which were pretty attractive) who felt it was their duty to to take that kiss away from me!

Lets back up a few years(15 to be exact). I went to a purity conference, during it there was this speaker, She was gorgeous inside and out. I sat there ears perked up heart in tune. She saved her first kiss for her wedding day! WOW! I decided on that day I would do the same. I would save my kiss for my husband to be! I was in the 6th grade. I dont regret it, I never will.

I had someone say, "Well what if he is a bad kisser?" Well really how would I know, I would have nothing to compare it to. Im sure if he was a bad kisser I would just know, but I lucked out, hes great. hehe

My wedding day was AMAZING!! I not on became the wife of an amazing man! I was able to give him ALL of me, my heart and my body as a whole!

I say Yes YEs YES It was worth the wait!!! It was worth every moment!

I have a few things I would tell youth,
1. When your out making out, sleeping with, fondling and anything else, chances are, your doing this with someone elses future husband or wife.
2. Your taking and giving away pieces of your heart, What will be left to give your future spouse?
3. Nick has said, " If I knew I was gonna marry you, I would have waited for you!"

Do I think you will burn in hell if you dont save your first kiss for your hubby, or wife, NO!

But I know where a kiss goes. I know it leads to more, it leaves you wanting more and going further. I know hands wonder, I know thoughts wonder further.

YEEEHAW

I know 2 posts in one day, well kinda.

SO I just found out.... PEOPLE READ THIS! WOW! I kinda sorta thought I might be talking to myself, but NO! How fun! HI GUYS!

Can you tell Im tired? Its 12:47am everyone in my household is sound asleep and here I am wide awake, and yet so very very tired! Maybe I feel I need a bit to myself, to just listen to the nothingness of my thoughts and my fingers hitting the keyboard. It is kinda nice.

I do have something to write, a question was asked to me the other day and its kinda pressing on me. I think I will write about it tomorrow when Im a bit more aware of my oh so tired thoughts.

Can I type some randomness about me...

*I LOVE Hair, Im getting so so bored with mine, but I said I would grow it out. For me ITS LONG! I will have hubby take a photo.
*Im a licensed cosmetologist, I spent many hours working for it, never went into the salon but LOVE cutting hair and do so from my home (or yours!)
*I love make-up
*I absolutely love and adore my daughters, they are both so amazing
* My husband is the greatest, I married well.
*Im walking almost 40 miles over 2 days in September.
*Im really tired right now!
*Knowing my God loves me is truly really cool!!
*As much as I want to loose weight, I dont mind being overweight, I think thats my problem!
*Coke-a-Cola makes me very happy!
*I so want to be creative, and it never works.
*Birds make me smile. Watching hawks soar is the coolest. Seeing Turkey Vulture flying above me both creeps me out and is so rad!
*My favorite animal at one time was a cow, because of their big brown eyes (and they are yummy) now its the jelly fish. They are so beautiful and relaxing to watch.
*Im learning to be a better wife.

ok I really need to get to bed. I will stop boring you with nonsense!

To post or not to post!

That has been the question I battle each time I spend time writing something! I have a list of things Ive written and just let sit for a day or two and then decide not to post is as to not hurt feelings or offend someone. Im so non confrontational!

This week has been go go go! Monday we made our way to Mile square park to walk, that didnt happen cause it was so humid and sticky, I did though have Anbo play with her friends for a few hours.
Tuesday We went to a friends house to make play dough, so much fun! That evening I went walking with my mom in law.
Wednesday we headed to one of my Favorite parks, Arroyo in Yorba Linda, Anberlyn ran around with friends for hours. Was so exhausted and slept for hours, we had to wake her for dinner! Its been a long time since that has happened.
Thursday(today) We went to the Fullerton Arboretum, it was relaxing, Anberlyn has so much fun.

Im home now and Im SOOO exhausted, the girls and I are supposed to head to the beach tomorrow, I just dont think I can do it!

Photoshoot!!!

A friend posted this for me! PLEASE feel free to pass this along!

Enter to win:


Simply Sweet Moments Photography

Session Giveaway!!!

If you have breasts no matter how small or large you are at risk for breast cancer; yes that includes the men too.

Here’s what you do to enter for a chance to win a personal photo session

* For every $5 donated you will receive 1 entry. There is no limit. Donating $10 gives you 2 entries. As well
   as donating $25 gives you 5 entries.

* You must donate using this link Avon Walk for Breast Cancer

* Make sure to leave a comment below saying you donated/entered with the number of your entries
  (ex:  entered x’s 5!)

* The last chance to enter this giveaway is June 30th at midnight.

* If you share this on your Facebook page you will get 1 complimentary entry. You must tell me in a comment below that you “shared”.

* Don’t forget to mark your calendar for the silent auction that will take place July 25th in Anaheim. There will be other great raffles and giveaways there!

Good luck!

Alaina

(562) 400-2579

*The session will take place in Laguna Beach*

Reading

Im starting to read books!

I know funny, Ive never been much of a reader, but lately I have loved getting into a story!

DO you have a favorite book?
What would you recommend?

at a loss

Ive come on here time and time again starting to write something, nothing I feel is worth posting. So tonight Im gonna share my favorite chapter, again. Let me know your thoughts on it.

Psalm 139
For the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David.
1 O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
2 You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
3 You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
4 For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
5 You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.

7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall[a] on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.

13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;[b]
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
18 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.

19 Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God!
Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.
20 For they speak against You wickedly;
Your enemies take Your name in vain.[c]
21 Do I not hate them, O LORD, who hate You?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
22 I hate them with perfect hatred;
I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
24 And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting

check out this blog

MyCupOverfloweth!!

Lost

I didnt start watching it until after the 3rd season, May or June of 2007.
While pregnant with Anberlyn and really sick I was HOOKED. My sister loaned us seasons 1-3 on DVD, went through them in 2 weeks.

The next 2 seasons were great as well, then this last one, it didnt start off well, but I continued through it, needing to know, needing to understand.

Tonight I watched the series finale, AHHHHHHHHH IT WAS HORRIBLE! I wasted to much time and excitement on the show, I kinda wish it would have just ended in the middle of last season, keeping me wanting more, not like I am now, disappointed and just in disbelief that they would end it like this.

Oh well....

oooooo AHHHHHH

Click below to enter a giveaway! A SUPER DUPER CUTE

~~~> TUTU!!!

Think of your niece, daughter/daughter to be, grand-daughter, friends child or your aunts boss' sister friends god daughter! ;o)

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Walkin my Buns off........

..

FOR BOOBS!!!!

Is there a better way to loose weight? For a cause! I also might join the pound for pound challenge! A double wammy!!

Last Tuesday I started training. We walked and walked well... and walked some more. We walked somewhere between 3 and 5 miles. I did well for not being in shape. My shoes on the other hand DID NOT do their job. They were great shoes at one time, but the are just worn out. The last half mile or so they took their tole on my footsies, the balls of both my feet were killing me which caused me to walk funny, I was putting all my weight on the out side of my feet. When I arrived home, my body was sore and tired, my feet wow hurt, I slipped off my shoes and low and behold 2 blisters on the ball of my left foot, OUCHIE!! Nick gladly rubbed my feet.

Wednesday a whole new pain arrived, I really hurt my ankle by walking funny. So Ive been limping around here, its been a joy. This weekend we will be purchasing me some new running shoes! Maybe then my feet will be in better shape!

Ok so weight lose is a major part of this walk, but its not the only part. My grandmother just passed away from cancer complications, it wasnt breast cancer, but she did battle breast cancer a few short years ago. My great aunt had breast cancer, and my Mom in Law just finished treatments for breast cancer. Its real, its hard, and I pray that a cure is found by the time my girls face it.

So here it is:

I am committed to raise $1800 by the day I walk, WOWZERZ!!! I know I can do it, but not without your help. There are a couple ways you can do so, You can visit my page and donate any amount, $5-$1800 ;o) anything will help! It all adds up! Another way is by donating for my Silent Auction Im hosting this summer. If you wanna know more about that, let me know!

Im super excited to walk 39.3 miles! and Im not at the same time, it will be an adventure! One to remember, I will try to update you here on my progress. I will be walking every Tuesday, increasing the miles as the weeks come!

Thanks for supporting me!!

Check out my page here!

Life

Its been pretty good over here! Life is a lot easier with two than I thought. Im WAY active (for me at least)and Ive been loving my Family. The first two weeks are kinda a blur, Nick was home the first week and the second week I did well, I got out an about and had fun. Ended the second week with going out to lunch with my mom in law, Nick and the girls, we went to lunch at Buca di beppo (sp) and it will be my last time eating there, it wasnt that great and service was HORRIBLE, like I said we went for lunch and we were there an hour and a half!!!!
Last weekend, well I guess the weekend before last, Nick and our good friend Steven built the bed for Anberlyn, WOOHOO it looks great, its in pieces right now in Nicks office waiting to be painted along with a few other items.
Monday last week we headed over to Nicks parents house (they were out of town) so Nick could mow the lawn, well it looked like it was just done, so nick did the hedges (is that what its called??) I sat in my MIL comfy recliner and watched food network with my girls! ( I miss that channel)
Tuesday I headed out to Taco Tuesday at El Torito with two good friends, It was so yummy, afterwards we drove over to Old Navy to spend a gift card I received for Emersyn, I bought a few things for her in different sizes.
Wednesday I decided to buy Nick a gift, I still had some money left from my Omi, Nick works so hard for us, so I looked and looked and bought him a PS3, the only place that had one was a best buy in City of Industry. So I put it on hold and made the drive (not long like 30 minutes w/O traffic) Nick loved it, and wanted to return it, haha, money could be used elsewhere, but I made him keep it. He never gets anything for himself, and we kinda had the money! Now we are putting just a little away each paycheck or anything I make cutting hair so we can buy a new TV to go with it.
Thursday I was out and about all day, and that evening we headed back to my in laws to pull weeds from the front planter, Anbo had a blast doing it, I wish I would have taken photos, we also brought their dog out to play with her, it was funny. Anbo kept tellher her " No eat Anbo!" because the dog was licking her face! haha
Friday morning we headed to a friends baby shower, it was a pot luck, me I forgot to make or pick something up, so I drove thru Taco Bell and picked up a few tacos. We had fun sharing the day with Heather and her baby to be. Nick called and said he finished at work and was heading to his parents to wash their cars, I thought Anbo would LOVE that so I drove by and dropped her off as I had a few errands to run
Saturday we headed out with my mommy group to the OC fair grounds, we had fun walking around!it was hot and Nick and I got burned a bit.
Sunday we headed over to my parents home to hang out.
Yesterday I ran an errand then took Anbo to the park, it was a super cute perfect toddler park, the Anbo and I took a walk..
Today was relaxing day, I didnt do much of anything!!!

Sorry I wrote a book, Im feeding Emersyn, a bit bored and typing one handed.. Iknow you wanted to know everything from the past week.

She is here!!!

Emersyn Ingrid-Lane came at 36 weeks 5 days, so not expected, we thought we had at least one more week!
Here is the story:
Nick and I went to bed at about 11:45pm on March 3rd it took me about a half an hour to FINALLY fall asleep, 15 short minutes later the 1st contraction started. I laid there thinking it was Braxton Hicks, no big deal, but it continued. I went out to the living room to start timing it, I found this cool site that helped me keep track. They were about 5-6 minutes apart, but not strong at all. I kept track for 3 hours. At about 3-3:30am I decided to wake Nick, so he can help me keep track while I walked around to try to get it to stop (still thinking false labor, as I went to the hospital twice with false labor with Anbo)I also showered. didnt stop.
At about 4:30-5:00 am we decided to start packing our bags, as we hadnt expected to need them just yet. 6am I decided to call the on call Dr. She didnt seem to believe I was in labor, but said to go to the hospital anyway. We woke up Anbo, packed her bags and took her to Auntie Tina's. Then off to the hospital. We arrived there at around 9:00 am, they checked me, I was dialated to 3cm, enough to be admitted. Lucky for us my Dr. was at the hospital at the time, I had just seen her the Tuesday before at that time I was dialated to 1 cm and showed no signs of labor, she came in and broke my water, soon after that the anesthesiologist came in and gave me the epidural, then the nurse gave me pitocin to get me moving, all by 10:00am. Now it was a waiting game.
The nurse came in a few times and checked me, I was progressing, at 1pm I was 9cm, YAY! Then at 2pm I was still at 9cm. She tried to stretch me, but I just wasnt dialating anymore. Turns out Emersyn was facing the wrong way, which explained my back labor, so it was causing me not to dialate. At 2:15, she said that if I hadnt finished dialating by 3pm I might need a c-section as Emersyn was starting to get a bit stressed. (During this whole time my blood pressure kept dropping, She had to give me a couple different drugs to keep it stable)I then texted a bunch of people asking that they please pray, as soon as I did that I felt a ton of pressure with the next couple of contractions, I called the nurse in and she checked me. I WAS AT 10 cm!!!! WOOHOO Praise God!!!! (Prayer works, I have an amazing God that loves me)
She got my feet in the stirrups and we did a test push before calling my Dr. So with the next contraction she had me push, and Emersyn crowned, WOW!!!they called the Dr., she was there 20 minutes later. I pushed 3 times, the dr said here is her head, stop pushing the cord is wrapped around her neck. She un wrapped it a pulled her out!!!!!!!!!!! that was AMAZING, I pushed with Anbo for 3 hours!!!

Our precious Emersyn was born 6 lbs. 14 oz 19 in. long at 3:01pm March 4th.

So far she has just been a pleasant little Angel. She has jaundice and was put on lights to help the levels go down. She is a bit lethargic, and its hard to get her to eat as she is so sleepy, NOTHING wakes her up. She is pooping up a storm which is a good thing.

Anberlyn seems to be adjusting well. She is constantly wanting to give her hugs and kisses and just poking at her. Anberlyn is learning to be nice and gentle.

Nick has a week off work and which is super super helpful! He is amazing, gets up at every feeding with me and everything! He wont let me do anything just rest and get healed up. He takes Anbo out each day to run around and have just Daddy daughter time. Come Monday, well its going to be a very sad day for me. A bigger adjustment having two girls all to myself! YIKES!

Well thats whats going on here!

She passed

for those of you who have read my previous post.

My Omi passed this morning at the young age of 73. My dad said that before they took her off life support, she look horrible and uncomfortable. Then they took her off, removed the breathing tube, and she suddenly looked peaceful and like she was sleeping. Her heart rate dropped and it took 10 minutes. My dad said it was nice.

Im so happy it went well, and that she didnt go through any pain. It hurts my heart knowing she is no longer here, but at the same time Im glad she is no longer in pain.

Thank You everyone for your thoughts and prayers, they have been greatly appreciated!

Here are a couple of pictures.
One is of my Omi and Opa last October.
The other is my Omi Dad Opa and Aunt in 1966

OCD......

The past couple of weeks Anberlyn has been so, well STRANGE. Her room has to be a certain way before she can sleep. EVERY toy much be in its exact place. Each bucket lined up perfectly, each doll must be sitting up perfectly. If each item is not in its place at the time of nap or bedtime, ITS a screaming child for us, I mean SCREAMING bloody murder.



I give her a few minutes before going in and see whats going on. Yesterday I went in, and her horse car thing wasnt pressed up against the wall all the way, or the CD's are not stacked properly, its insane. OH and when she cries, she MUST have "tissue paper" to wipe her tears and nose, even if there is nothing to wipe.


these are the "buckets"

Tonight we had one of Anbo's friends over, they played and made a mess, toys all over the living room and her room. As soon as her friend left Anbo was on top of it, she took all her toys into her room and put them away!!! We walked into her room and it was spotless, she was sitting on her floor reading a book... Though I can do without the screaming, and her being SOOO obsessive about it, I pray she keeps this up! She certainly didnt get it from either Nick nor I.

I know when the baby comes, it may all change.

On a not so fun note, I got a call today from my mom stating that she had just dropped my dad off at the hospital to be with his sister and dad in Florida, as tomorrow they are taking his mom off of life support.
Almost two weeks ago my Omi had gone in because she was having some issues, she had gained 10 pounds rather quickly. They found a mass in her intestines, they went in and removed it, finding out it was intestinal Cancer that had also spread to her liver and pankrius(sp). After the surgery she was in to much pain and was put out with meds. She has not really been awake since. she has gained 40+ pounds in this time as the fluids are leaking into her her body. This morning she was convulsing and had to be tied down.
So its time, tomorrow she will be taken off and we will see what happens. My heart hurts for my family, its hard. It will be the first of my grandparents to die, and the first of a family member to die that has been somewhat close to me. Though my Omi and I were not super close, its a lose that I dont want to have. Im so thankful we were able to spend time with her last October, that she was able to meet Anberlyn, that I was able to take photos of her with Anberlyn.
I feel like in a way this is why we are having another girl. When I was pregnant with Anberlyn just short weeks before she was born Nicks grandmother passed away, and now the same with Emersyn.


My Omi with Anberlyn

I thank you for your thoughts and prayers at this time in our life. I pray more my dad, Aunt and Ompa, for a comfort and peace to whats to come tomorrow.

I hope you all had a wonderful Valentines Day, and that you spent it with someone you love!

Bitter sweet

Tonight I was lucky enough to see Emersyn again via Ultra Sound. While waiting my mom informed me that My dads mom, My Omi, has intestinal cancer. She gained just over 10 pounds in a week due to blockage. She still doesnt know she has it, she has been medicated, She is in way to much pain to be awake so she is out. My Ompa (grandfather) is afraid that she isnt gonna wanna battle this, that she is gonna wanna just let it take its course and die. Over the past couple years she has been going through a lot of medical issues. She has already beat cancer once, breast cancer.

Last October we were able to spend a few days with her and Im so happy we did. Anberlyn was able to meet her. My dad is having a little bit of a hard time with it, my aunt is on her way there now to be with them.

On that note, Emersyn has a middle name. 'Emersyn Ingrid Lane Benson'
Ingrid is my Omi' name and Lane is my moms mid name. I know its long but its special.

Falling In.......

So Anbo isnt potty training, well Im not training her, but she like to sit on the big potty and read a book. So tonight was one of those nights, I put the small seat thing inside the big seat, which doesnt really fit in but figured she was fine. I left the bathroom while Nick watched her.
I was sitting on the couch when I heard a splash and screaming, I jumped up and RAN!!!

Anbo had fallen into the toilet, the little seat thing went right in with her! Her little arms and legs were straight up in the air and water was all the way up her waist. Nick was yelling for me to get a towel Anbo was yelling NO POTTY NO POTTY! When I knew she was fine, I was in TEARS laughing! poor baby! We made her sit on the potty again after that, while Nick was holding her so she would hopefully see that its ok.

We do have a toddler potty, she just preferred sitting on the big one! Not anymore I dont think! haha we shall see!

Poor baby!

A friend tagged me well Anberlyn) in her blog, which lead to me panicking needing to update!

I dont know what to write anymore, Im constantly at a loss for words. Time is defiantly flying and we will have another little girl very soon! Pregnancy and I are not the best of friends. Heart burn is killer, my little gymnast inside me keeps me up all night. So here I am lack of sleep, and so looking forward to the future. Ive been blessed.

Tomorrow we are celebrating Anberlyn's 2nd birthday! Im super excited, I tried really hard to keep it small due to finances and only invited 14 people!!! which forgetting about husbands we have 21 adults coming and 11 children!!!! YIKES, This whole Shin Dig is happening in my little condo, we have moved furniture around, and I think we are gonna pull it off, at least I pray we do! We will be a little crowded, but I think we should have fun! OH!!! and I am SOOOOOOOOO proud of Nick and I, we finished cleaning the night before, decorations are in place and all we have to do is pull the food out of the fridge!!! (oh and Nick is running to the store to grab ice for drinks)We are such procrastinators Im so stunned!

My sister in law Crystal flew into town this past week, with her brand new one month old baby girl!!! It was such a joy to meet her! Miss Juliet is such a little cutie pie.

Nick and I are doing GREAT, besides the colds that are lingering. I married an amazing man!! He takes such great care of Anberlyn and I!

Anberlyn is such a great little girl,so independent, smart and has the best personality, she makes me laugh. Dont get me wrong she has her moments!!! a few today but she is wonderful!

Well Thats all!

Room!

Ok so i will have to take before pictures of Anberlyn's room, its just there, no rhyme or reason! BUT now I have all these ideas stiring up in my head and I am SUPER SUPER excited to get it done and it will be special! Ive picked out colors and everything and Ive laid it all out. Which I wont tell but its gonna be cute, I hope! Oh here how its going to be special, Im excited:

Nick (and a friend) are going to build the twin bed!
My wonderful mother in law agreed to make the quilt for Anbo's new bed
My best friend is going to make throw pillows to match.
My little sister is painting a picture for the wall!!!!
Ive painted and am putting together letters for both of them.

Im just so excited that its hand crafted by friends and family! I can not WAIT to show you! though it wont be done until close or after the baby is born due to finances, but still WOOHOO! :o)

My Favorite Chapter:

Psalm 139

For the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David.

¹ O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
² You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
³ You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
⁴ For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
⁵ You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.

⁷ Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
⁸ If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
⁹ If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
¹⁰ Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall^a]">[a] on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
¹² Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.

¹³ For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;^b]">[b]
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

¹⁷ How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
¹⁸ If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.

¹⁹ Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God!
Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.
²⁰ For they speak against You wickedly;
Your enemies take Your name in vain.^c]">[c]
²¹ Do I not hate them, O LORD, who hate You?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
²² I hate them with perfect hatred;
I count them my enemies.

²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
²⁴ And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.

A God who knows me and loves me. Who built me just the way I am in my mothers womb. A God who knows everything about me. Who is with me and takes care of me. How can I not love a God who loves me this much. This God loves you just as much.

I pray in this coming year that I can be an example of his love. That I grow closer to Him. He has blessed me beyond words.